Since I moved to a new workplace, I’ve noticed a few… shifts in how I behave. Nothing groundbreaking, I’m still me, just slightly less emotionally constipated, I guess?
- I don’t curse as much anymore.
I used to cuss like a rempit whenever I was alone, especially when certain names popped into my head; people who wronged me, stepped on me, made life unnecessarily heavy. Now it’s just silence. Or maybe just a quiet, annoyed inhale. I don’t think this is character development. Maybe I’m just tired. - I rarely honk at idiotic drivers.
This is a big one. I used to honk like my car had a personality disorder, especially at those slow drivers chilling in the fast lane like they’re in a spa. These days, I just breathe and potong kiri kemudian pancung. Maybe throw a quick side-eye. - I don’t cry alone that often anymore.
Before the move, crying was basically part of my daily schedule. Wake up, remember my sad little life, cry a bit. Night time? Cry again, just to make sure the emotional quota’s met. Now the tears haven’t shown up in a while. Not sure if they’re on leave or I’m actually okay.
Not saying life is perfect now. But I think I’m a little lighter. Or at least, I’m not dragging the same chains around every day.
Anyway. That’s it. Just something I noticed.
I’m the one I should love in this world
My shining self, my precious soul
Only now do I realize, so I love me
Though a bit lacking, I’m so beautifulI’m the one I should love
BTS Jin – Epiphany